The Considerably Interesting Curricular Compendium |
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In case you haven't gotten caught up in the lego storm already, it's time someone told you to get to The Land of Rob and at least have a look at Rob's astounding Lego Men film!
That whole Santa Claus incident from a while ago has ended peacefully, so you can head over there without being shot for having listened to Santa's speech. You should find the link to the film somewhere on one of his posts; just keep an eye out for - what else? - a picture of some out-of-focus lego men, which is appropriate, seeing as how the film is in fact called:
The Quest of the Out-Of-Focus Lego Men
But why should you watch this film? Let's have a look through it.
The adventure starts with our lego heroes, who appear to have been trapped inside a large house filled with pirates. They must escape the house, without the aid of any hands of other objects to move them around to do so, meaning they look just like they're moving by themselves! Fantastic! Bravo!
In fact, on that note, review over. This film doesn't need a review. Why not just give it a bash? It's not complete yet, but who knows? Check the trailer, and you just might be hooked...
...By Pirate Bash's hooked hand!! ARGH!! AVAST!! PIRATES!! I made a dictionary about these words a while ago! SHORTEN SAIL! SCALLYWAGS!
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February 4th, 20XX
Action Man WALKS OUT of the prison in which Dr. X can now be found, and discovers something incredible: the FBI have finally caught onto Dr. X's habit of BREAKING OUT of St. George Prison/converted-butcher's every thirty-two minutes and seven seconds! The Man of Action turns to see the most massive light-grey box in history! It stretches for miles all around, with Dr. X held in a top-secret turret, at the VERY TOP OF THE TALLEST SECTION OF THE TALLEST SEMI-TURRET!! He can never escape!
Furthermore, the prison is surrounded... by THE OCEAN!! What a formidable enemy!
Action Man smiles as he sees Dr. X glaring at him with enraged, angerous fury from his sunny prison, to which our hero responds with a noble salute! Action Man, now pleased with his greatest victory, turns again and walks a new man, with a revitalised purpose, to fight for what is, and can truly only be, Action Man. Striding with all the power and justiceness of a truly wonderful person, Action Man falls directly into the ocean.
February 6th, 20XX
WHAT IS THIS?!?!
"Why are you laughing, Action Man? Why do you glare, Doctor? Why do any of you? Why do any? Why do? WHY?"
"Why shall we not live? Shall we not die? Shall you not have never? Where is it in the empty tapestry of the universal futility that is the blustering crusade for meaning in this deluded eternity that you so find yourselves blindly hacking through? Is it a jungle, Doctor? Are you a righteous, Action Man? Is all right with the world? With the ALL?"
Some form of MYSTERIOUS EVIL PERSON WHO PRESUMABLY THINKS THAT EVERYTHING IS MEANINGLESS, OR AT LEAST JUDGING BY HIS SPEECH has; em...
I'm sorry, what was I going to say again?
"Here is the potion, Action Man. Doctor X. The elixir that will destroy all, and end the tapestry."
"There is no reason for any of you."
What's this? Deep philosophical suggestions... in a children's Action Man novel?! Luckily for us, Dr. X's doctorate is actually in philosophy, so we can trust him to completely shatter these arguments on the rocks; so, don't worry.
"There was no reason for her, either!!"
GASP!! What?! Who is this man?!
"I... Am..."
"James."
TO BE CONTINUED?!?! AGAIN?!?!
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Dr. X cackles in the form of madness, staring at Action Man with his red laser eye... yet Action Man is struggling to resist the Doctor's EVIL, twisted psyche!!
IS IT TOO LATE?!?!
"It's all over for you, Action Man! Mini-suns, capture Action Man!!" Dr. X orders his truly heinous creations to attack the Man of Action! Surely they aren't a match for him?!
"You won't win, Dr. X! It's my mission to put a stop to you... forever!! I will resist your mind games!!" And with that, Action Man is promptly ACCOSTED by the rather-annoying mini-sun army! And quickly knocked to the ground! Oh no!!!
"At last! I don't believe it... I've - I've defeated Action Man!" Lightning STRIKES from absolutely nowhere, and somehow casts a SHADOW over Dr. X's CACKLING FACE, even though it's daytime!! And there are no windows!!
"That's it, you brainless narrator. Mini-suns, capture him as well!"
Oh - oh no!! Wait, stop! No, do- *THUMP*
Several hours later...
Action Man wakes up... but he's trapped inside some kind of cube!! It - it's a prison!!
"That accursed Dr. X! Even the narrator isn't safe anymore!" Action Man goes into a furious rage, attacking the iron bars of the prison... but it DOESN'T HELP!! The bars are still there, and Action Man's hand is QUITE SORE!! The Man quietly sits down and contemplates his situation...
"I can't believe it... after all these years... it's just - I can't - Dr. X's plan all along was to take over the world? I can't accept it... but - but - I know it's true! I have finally been captured, for the first time in my life!" Action Man is in grief; grief which, perhaps, nobody on the planet can understand except from him. Indeed, nobody in the entire UNIVERSE!!
But suddenly...
"What? Are those... footsteps I hear?"
The ominous sound of footsteps echoing down some kind of long, white, marble corridor approach the cube that is Action Man's truly EVIL prison!
"Action Man! How could this happen to you..."
"What? But... it's impossible! Yo
u're - " "Don't you know, Action Man, that as long as you listen to your heart, you cannot be defeated! Even by Dr. X!"
"But - but - it's no use! Don't you understand?! He's destroyed me... now that I know his true plans, and now that I've let him capture me while I was shocked... I'm not worthy of being considered Action Man anymore. I'm... just... Worthless Man!"
"How can you ever overcome Dr. X if you can't look beyond what you think? You're no less defeated now than you ever have been. Dr. X has attacked your mind, but he can never destroy your heart! And as long as you have the will to go on, and to do your very best, you can never be stopped! You can do it, Action Man! You can stop Dr. X!"
The mysterious woman BEGINS TO FADE AWAY, AS IS APPROPRIATE FOR SUCH A TOUCHING SCENE!!
"Wait!! Melissa, don't go!!"
"You can do it, Action Man! Just believe..." STILL FADING AWAY!! "...in your heart..." Gone, now.
Action Man is left amazed, and revitalised!!
"Melissa's right! For a moment there, I forgot what it means to be Action Man: to fight for what is right, to believe in yourself, and to stop Dr. X!! YAAH!" Somehow, Action Man climbs the conveniently-placed ladder within his prison cell, and I follow him, taking us both to THE ROOFTOP!!
A MASSIVE army of mini-suns pans out across the roof, in assembly form, while Dr. X screams from a colossal podium with his face on it!
"My mini-suns, we have defeated Action Man! Now, my plans are almost complete!! There is only one thing left to do: fly to America, hover around people until they get annoyed by your presence, after which... I, DOCTOR X, will return to my glorious shores and TAKE OVER THE WHOLE WORLD!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
"First rule of English, X: no more than two exclamation marks per sentence!!!"
The mini-suns gasp, and those down the centre draw to the side, as Action Man walks straight through the centre of the assembly, heading in the direct direction of the most EVIL Doctor himself! Why, it's like something out of some kind of film!!
"And the first rule of Action Man: no more Dr. X!"
And with one swift kick, Action Man knocks all 395 mini-suns off the roof, after which we shall assume they have flown off to another planet or something.
"And now, X. It's just me and you."
"Action Man?! Im-impossible! I crushed your very being in my iron grip, and cast you to my roof-hatched prison! How can you still be yourself?!"
"Because I remembered what it means to be Action Man... something which YOU will never understand, Dr. X! As long as you try to take over the world!"
"Hmph! There is only one thing I want, Action Man - and that is, indeed, to rule the world. No, I will never understand you. Because THIS IS ME, and I will destroy you!! Observe!"
Dr. X PULLS OUT A GUN!
"Too bad, Dr. X! Who needs guns when you have... fists?!" Action Man KICKS THE GUN out of the EVIL hand of Dr. X, and kicks him to the ground! Presumably, he is defeated!
"You may have won this time, Action Man, but as long as I have my PhD from Kentucky University, I will rise again!"
"Whatever you say, Doctor. I know that you will once again be behind another dastardly scheme; for now, though, let's see how you like being BEHIND BARS!!"
"Ah! Where do these awful jokes come from?!" Action Man would prefer not to answer that question.
SO, arriving back in America...
Action Man PERSONALLY OBSERVES Dr. X being placed in prison. The evil Doctor sneers EVILLY at him from behind the bars, but our hero has one last thing to say.
"You know, Doctor X, I've never asked this before: just what is your Doctorate actually for?"
"I don't know, you fool! But this I do know: one day, Action Man will fall, and the world will belong to Dr. X!"
"We'll see, Doctor. But there's something I also know."
Action Man TURNS TO FACE THE CAMERA, even though there isn't one, but it would look good if this were on TV; at least, if you ask me.
"And that's that as long as I believe in my heart, and remember that I'm fighting for justice, mankind, all creatures, and all things, then I will never fall... and Dr. X will never prevail!"
Action Man gives one last thumbs-up to our pre-establishedly non-existent camera, after which it's time to close this tear-jerking story of pain, loss, triumph, and redemption.
THE END
[Note: the copyrights of any and all images shown in this post, or indeed in any post on any of my blogs, are the property of their respective owners. I say this because while I was searching for images to use in this post, I found a picture that said not to use it without requesting it. I didn't use that one, of course, but it made me decide I ought to put this message here just in case this issue could crop up with any other pictures I ever use. So, there you go!]
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Skulking in the very core of some place we'll just refer to as 'the African Jungle' for lack of geographical knowledge...
Beneath the canopy and foliage...behind the trees...past those leaves, as well...wh-- it's not there!! Oh, wait, sorry. Slightly to the left...
Something EVIL is going on!!!!
DUN DUN DUN!!! It's Dr. X(TM)'s SECRET BASE!!!
What ferocious, foul, fribconentious plan could the savage, sagacious, smiling Dr. X be concocting within this diabolical factory of EVIL?! And WHERE IS ACTION MAN?!
Meanwhile, in St. George Street, California (which we shall assume exists for the sake of the plot)...
ACTION MAN IS WANDERING AROUND THE PARK (he's currently in front of a tree with very large green leaves, as you can see)!!!
"Hm... how many hours has it been since Dr. X last got sent to prison? A half?... Oh no! I have to stop him before he carries out whatever plan he's made up while waiting to break out of prison!!"
But wait...
SUDDENLY!!!
A WOMAN APPEARS OUT OF SOMEWHERE AND TALKS TO ACTION MAN!!
"Action Man! Help! I don't know why, but this miniature sun with sunglasses is chasing me!!"
Action Man SPRINGS INTO ACTION!! Using his Action Gun, Action Man fires a SMALL BULLET which HITS the sun and causes it to STOP BEING AROUND!!
"You haven't heard the last of me, Action Man!" And with that, the sun FLIES off into the sky for some reason!
"Thanks, Action Man! I'm not injured!"
"No problem, madam. All in a day's work for Action Man. Now, you can bet that that sun was something to do with Dr. X's dastardly new scheme. Hm... but where could he be?"
"He's in the African Jungle. Here's a map I made earlier, showing you how to find his base."
"Wow! Thanks, madam! But there's no time to lose... it's time to answer The Call To Action!"
*Theme tune plays*
And so, Action Man flies off by some supernatural means, and luckily just happens to fly over the African Jungle soon after. But...
MEANWHILE...
...In Dr. X's evil, secret, really-quite-mean base...
"Ya ha ha ha ha!!" The EVIL Dr. X cackles evilly, twiddling his moustache in tune to his own self-absorbed prattling!! "Soon, the world will be mine! All those mini-suns will eventually track down my arch-nemesis, Action Man, and then nothing will be able to stop me from taking control of the entire planet! WA HA HA HA!!!"
The evil Doctor explodes in maniacal laughter as he surveys his very own mini-sun production plant. "James! Stand behind my left-hand shoulder and laugh along with me!"
"Yes, sir," James replies in a very EVIL FASHION!!!
Suddenly, and without very much warning, Action Man BURSTS THROUGH THE ROOF of Dr. X's EVIL BASE!!
"Action Man?! But - how?!"
"It's time for you to walk the plank, Dr. X!... Oh, hold on, that was for the 'Dr. X: Pirate edition'... Em, it looks like you've gotten all washed up!... Wait, I'm thinking of 'Dr. X: Battle-Ship edition'!!"
"Action Man, I don't know how you found my secret base, but you can clearly see that I'm 'Dr. X: Glowing Hand' edition today!"
"In that case, prepare to join the dark side!" Another fantastic insult from Action Man!
"You complete clod, Action Man. I already am on the 'dark side' if anything, and your pathetic insult is thus totally without weight. You're worthless, Action Man. Pitiful." Dr. X begins to CIRCLE ACTION MAN IN THE FORM OF A BAD GUY IN A SUPERIOR POSITION, AS IN THE MOVIES!!
"What are you talking about, Doctor?"
"You were never in the same intellectual pedigree as me, Action Man. Don't you understand why I have tried to take over the world for all these years? It's because I want to rule the world! Has that never crossed your mind?!"
"Wh-what? N-n-no!! You're lying!!"
"And now, with my army of mini-suns, I will finally dispose of you!"
Will Doctor X defeat Action Man, now that he has shocked everyone and announced his true plans? Can Action Man get over this turning of his world upside-down? Am I going to make that horrible joke where I ask myself a question in the series of questions before a cliff-hanger?!
STAY TUNED!!
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Here we are:
A cup for you to see! Is there water inside? No, but perhaps... well, let us say that the ink is complete with the pen!
They say that the cup can speak five different languages, yet not all at once. Could it have difficulty with making an important speech?
Having said all that, the cup is quite happy. We can all see it dancing on that stage, although let's hope that it doesn't spill any of the tricks, if you catch my drift.
So, are you gunning for the answer to the question of who/what could The Wonderful Cup really be?
Answers coming soon! For now, get guessing! (It's up to you, of course. W-No, don't run away! I wasn't trying to force you to guess! This is just a website, what can it do to hurt you? Wait!!)
*Puff* *Cough* *Etc.*
He got away. Still, you can guess.
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Now, as you may know, I have nothing against the Land of Rob. However, something positively outrageous has happened - somebody claiming to be me has written an article trying to depict the Land of Rob as a great place, when we all know it isn't. He is trying to discredit Santa, and convince children everywhere to go to the Land of Rob. However, I must side with Santa on this one, and so will fight for Santa and children all over the world. We won't let you get away with this, Rob!
[P.S.: This is, of course, all one great big joke. Have fun with it!]
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"Ho ho ho! Ho ho ho! I know that Christmas is over, but I'm sure you'll all be very happy to see Santa. Come along, little children, and sit down! Ho ho ho!"
"Ho ho ho! Now then, the real reason I'm here is to warn you all of something very dangerous, my children. Now, now, settle down. You see, in the last few months, a twisted dictator has created his own country, called 'The Land of Rob', and he's been recruiting new members all over the world. Oh? You have something to say, young one?... Oh, no, you musn't think of ever going there, little one. This is just what I've come to say to you all."
"Rob wants to make you think his land is a wonderful place, hoping he'll trick you into leaving your own families to join his country! It may sound awful, but he'd stop at nothing to make you want to go there. So, no matter what happens, stand against the Land of Rob, and never be persuaded otherwise."
"I know it's hard to understand, children, but please remember these words. It's for your own good. Now, I'm off to prepare for next year. Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas! Goodbye, children!"
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Another thing about my reviews: you can get to the review blog on www.brins.blogspot.com, the URL for which I'm quite pleased with. I never knew the name 'brins' wasn't taken, so it's now easier to get there than here. Funny, really.
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You might have been to my Review blog by now, which I made public on Christmas (it was supposed to be a present, but that's for your opinion to judge). Well, now I think I should point out that I can't predict how often I'll be doing reviews for things. It's been a while, so what I'm trying to say is: please don't be upset to find it's not been updated for some time, since inspiration works in funny ways.
If you've been there, you'll know that I've got a messed-up review system. It doesn't like to pronounce a fixed judgement of good or bad on any particular item; I do it because, the way I see it, you'll always find tons of reviews out there on Captain Internet for things, and they'll always defy each-other completely on all sorts of aspects. Some think one thing's good, whereas another takes the complete opposite view.
As Rob also once said, there's no such thing as an unbiased review...
... And speaking of Rob, part 5 of his happy story is here. A massive twist, might I add!
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Well, the time has come to celebrate the new year. All is well, peace on Earth, and that's the way it goes. After all, we can all enjoy the new year - a clean slate, a risen dawn, and countless other synonyms.
I hope everyone's having a happy new year (I hope so, but let's face it, not everybody is; by a long shot). However, at this merry period, I must crush the festivity to report an outrage!
But why am I doing this? Why must I ruin the fun? Well, because I think it should be said that -in Scotland at least - a conspiracy is afoot! When I was younger, I recall the midnight TV was full of happy halls of people dancing the jig, strathspey, and all those other Scottish words, while some cheery musicians (bagpipers, violinists, trumpets, and whatever else) smiling away at the informal fun.
But, NO!! In recent years, it feels too much like a music show for my liking! Such a disgrace! Now, it's an audience sitting (or, indeed, standing) in front of some famous people playing songs for them to clap to once they're finished! There's even a presenter! Whaa! No! Formality! Ritual! Famous people! Such pain that can't be shared! Empty! Oh, desolation! Where is the world?! All is adark! The void! The separation! Pain, suffering, melancholy!
And so on.
Oh, alright, maybe I'm exaggerating. The point is, things have/are changed/changing when it comes to 'hogmanay' (Scottish word for something to do with new year), and whether this is a good thing is purely up to the view of each person. I'm something of an old person at heart, so bear with my rambling on those young ruffians who altered the format of Scottish new year.
I suppose I'm the same person who was upset at this Elvis fellow ruining classical dancing. In a purely metaphorical sense, I mean.
Having said all this, I'm glad the television bothers to do anything for new year, so thankfulness is in order. It could easily have just sat there with a blank screen instead. And plus, the greatest upside to the whole year: they seemingly brought back the happy scientist who last year remarked that the world was going to be told about something in space that would 'revolutionise the world forever', or something to that effect. I'd appreciate it if someone would tell me exactly what that thing was, by the way. I must have missed it.
At any rate, he came back (assuming it was him) to inform us that this was a rare year: the moon decided to disappear for a day, and that day was yesterday. This pairing of events allegedly means that any wishes requested on that day will actually come true!
I made my wishes.
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