The Cases of Giblock Holmes and Dr. Clarkson (A story)
"Elementary, my dear Clarkson!" Giblock Holmes paraded down the 2nd floor corridor of
Quingeforth mansion. "What is, sir?" Dr. Clarkson struggled against gravity and momentum to keep his briefcase and files safely in his arms. Captain Holmes (as he liked to call himself) stopped waving his arms around and snapped to the good doctor. "I've had enough lip from you for one day, Clarkson!"
"I'm awfully sorry, sir, it's just that I've evidently forgotten whatever I was confused about which caused you to say what you said; whatever your expert mind has both recalled and rendered solved before my very nose."
"Clarkson."
"Yes, Captain?"
"Shut up and get in the car." Realising that they had just two minutes thirteen seconds before their two o'clock appointment, which the ever-tactful Holmes had just observed he had gone to the wrong mansion to attend, the dynamic duo (a term used very mildly in this instance) raced down the remainder of the corridor in their car, amidst some concern from the butler who had to dive into a conjoined room to evade their incredibly small vehicle.
"Good gracious, I can't see a thing, Clarkson! Kindly remove those fuzzy dices from your windscreen at once before I crash into another lampstand!"
"Terribly sorry, sir." And with that, the Captain's view was returned; he was heading straight for the 2nd-floor balcony. Shortly afterwards, they appeared to be quite in mid-air outside the mansion. "Clarkson, if we survive the fall, remind me not to bring the car into other people's houses again."
"Very well, sir. Shall I not give up until after saying it six times next time?"
Sadly, Holmes wouldn't have a chance to respond until two days later, after they had woken up from their fall-induced coma in Cemton Hospital (by which time he had forgotten the question, anyway). A bored nurse hovered to their assistance. "A'right, would that be one coffee or two?"
"I say, Captain, I -"
"Two cups, thank you, dear. One lump of sugar each!" The nurse sauntered into the distance.
"But Captain, what about me?"
"Patience, Clarkson, patience. You'll have yours when we get to our appointment. Now, it's Gordondale mansion, isn't it? I always get it mixed up with Quingeforth."
"Quite, sir. We'll be there as soon as Dr. Cuthberts has removed your hand from my throat."
Meanwhile, in a mysterious grove outside Cemton local graveyard and rubbish dump...
A pleasant gentleman is out for a midnight stroll with his wife.
"What a jolly fun idea to go for this walk, Linda!" the gentleman cheered as he toddled along past Mrs. Watersby's memorial wreath.
"Quite, Charles! Quite, haw!" Amidst this gallantry, Charles observed a mysterious glow coming from the embankment beside Major Otson's tomb. "Look over there, dear. Is that a light, or am I wrong?"
"Hm! Rather odd, wouldn't you say? This is exciting! A ghost?!"
"We'll see! What!" Coming up to the hill, the glow became brighter, and then lightened down to reveal some kind of passageway into the small hill. In fact, squinting, Charles observed what almost seemed like a small foyer and even a door! Could it be that someone lived in this small place? An investigation was in order!
"A massive object struck Charles and Linda Raffage on the backs of their thighs, rendering them unconscious instantly in Cemton local graveyard, immediately opposite the rubbish tip on the other side," read the Cemton Gazette.
"Look at this, Clarkson! Seems as though we have another case on our hands! That is, after this one." Captain Holmes threw the paper to Dr. Clarkson. As his colleague struggled to raise the paper over
his colleague's neck-bidden arm, he remarked, "you know what they say! Old news is good news!"
"Well, quite," Giblock agreed, worried to admit that he'd never heard the phrase in his life.
END OF CHAPTER!!