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Sunday, June 05, 2005
Down To A Suit (Something Else)
On the note of the Prom, it's going to be my first contact with a suit (this is the price you pay for not wearing a kilt). Suits are equally strange to posters.
A suit generally contains three buttons. Two of those buttons - the top and bottom ones - MUST NOT BE BUTTONED UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.
A suit only fits you properly if you have to raise your second arm completely vertical to get it in the sleeve.
A suit should be worn with the appropriate trousers. That's just odd, isn't it?
Finally, a suit MUST be worn with a tie - the MOST USELESS invention since sliced bread.
Ties have no reason to exist. Ties take up one syllable too many. In establishing Rob's World Order, I decree that ties must be eradicated for the protection of the collar.
The tie was invented in the early 20th Century, I believe. Do you know what that means?
It means that civilisations have been living perfectly well, for thousands of years, without ties. Why now? Why strike us?!
I also really wish that the 'bow tie' could just be called the 'bow'. There is far too much potential for mis-understandings to occur with the word 'tie' in its name.
Having said all this, a suit is important - it makes one look socially acceptable, a quality which is severely demanded by modern society. At formal occasions, there really isn't anything else you could wear that would make logical sense. A tie also adds to the formality (somehow).
I've been told that the kilt is considered an alternate socially acceptable formal dress for men in Scotland...
...isn't formality just completely messed up?
On the note of the Prom, it's going to be my first contact with a suit (this is the price you pay for not wearing a kilt). Suits are equally strange to posters.
A suit generally contains three buttons. Two of those buttons - the top and bottom ones - MUST NOT BE BUTTONED UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.
A suit only fits you properly if you have to raise your second arm completely vertical to get it in the sleeve.
A suit should be worn with the appropriate trousers. That's just odd, isn't it?
Finally, a suit MUST be worn with a tie - the MOST USELESS invention since sliced bread.
Ties have no reason to exist. Ties take up one syllable too many. In establishing Rob's World Order, I decree that ties must be eradicated for the protection of the collar.
The tie was invented in the early 20th Century, I believe. Do you know what that means?
It means that civilisations have been living perfectly well, for thousands of years, without ties. Why now? Why strike us?!
I also really wish that the 'bow tie' could just be called the 'bow'. There is far too much potential for mis-understandings to occur with the word 'tie' in its name.
Having said all this, a suit is important - it makes one look socially acceptable, a quality which is severely demanded by modern society. At formal occasions, there really isn't anything else you could wear that would make logical sense. A tie also adds to the formality (somehow).
I've been told that the kilt is considered an alternate socially acceptable formal dress for men in Scotland...
...isn't formality just completely messed up?
Brins would appreciate it if you didn't swear in your comments
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